No Escape

It brings me peace to know that there is no escape.That there is no other place where I can go to be happy. That there is no other person who can make me happy, apart from myself. It kills my old dreams but awakens new ones. It brings me peace, that every doubt, fear, conflict I face, needs to be resolved, right where I am, by none other than me. This is the best place to do that and it was chosen by me. The goal is to become as nonjudgmental as possible by bringing my darkness to light. The darkness is all that is hidden in my psyche,the so called 'noble', 'ignoble', everything.The darkness triggers my fears, my conflicts.The key is the path of least resistance, of acceptance. Its doable for that is what i have come to do. Paradoxically, it is the thought of escape which causes suffering, as it makes me resistant to what is, what needs to be dealt with by me in order to learn my life lesson, the very reason for my being here.

Cellular Memory

Was reading about the ancient Chinese technique of acupuncture being used to relive past life memories. Certain points on the forehead, around ears and upper shoulders are stimulated by thin needles and the person can actually see images ofpast lives, accompanied by emotions, smells.The person is fully conscious and can speak about the images being seen. So the cells of our bodies store memories of not only this life but previous ones too. The mind exists not only in the brain but in every cell of the body. When the body is destroyed by death, memories do not die but are carried forward to the next body in entirety. When the new body is being made in the mother's womb, the occupying soul places its imprint on each atom of it.The soul is the real creator of its body. So now I see my body in a new light. Not just something to be used as a vehicle and discarded at death but a marvelous repository of knowledge in life. The body is a marvel and so Vipassana makes even more sense to me.

Leaves

Leaves obsess me these days.They haunt me with their changing colours, the trajectory of their existence. Bright sap green buds, slowly darkening hues of maturity and then the yellowing, browning of age.The change from soft suppleness to crackling brittleness. The tie with the tree steadily weakening, till one day, it breaks and the leaf is set free, to fall to the ground or to be carried by the breeze to some unknown destination. The elements work on it, pulverizing, disintegrating, reducing till it is absorbed back into earth, where it rose from. I think it is the growing bite in the November air, a reminder of the winter to come and the inexorable passing of time, which is making me think of leaves so often. And the never ending cycles of life.

Pasha

We met Pasha yesterday, my friend and I, just outside Karunashraya, on Old Airport Road. He was blind and was selling agarbattis. The pavement there is dangerous as it runs over a drain, is uneven and broken at places. So we bought some of his stuff and tried to steer him to a safer place. He had come in a bus from Chamrajpet, and he got three rupees for each packet he sold. As we walked with him, some shopkeepers and roadside vendors bought his agarbattis. After some time, we left him and watched from a distance, concerned, how he would manage, blind, alone, on a crowded road. And we saw him being helped by people, one after the other. His agarbatti packets were selling briskly as well.
And so we learnt from him that when one embarks on some work, trusting God, trusting destiny, things are taken care of. We learnt from him not to let our perceived shortcomings stop us from taking up new challenges. And we learnt courage and dignity.

Right Side Of Fifty

At a meet recently, I heard a speaker introduce herself by saying that she's on the wrong side of fifty.And it made me think a bit and take stock. I am on the 'wrong' side of fifty too. I am done with a major part of my family duties with the kids grown up and doing their own thing. Have gotten through the bothersome years of perimenopause. And now, I feel more energetic, youthful and happy than I ever was before. I am free to discover the world and my own self and the freedom is exhilarating. The more I know myself, the love for myself grows and I care less and less for what people think.The wrong side of fifty? Bosh!! I am on the RIGHT side of fifty and having the time of my life !Things have never been better! And also, its been a puzzle to me that people don't want to die young and don't want to age either! What say, Amu,Amutha Surabhimm and my other friends on the 'wrong' side of fifty ?

Caterpillars

I am fascinated with the hungry caterpillar which does nothing but eat and eat, hogging on leaves, oblivious to the world. And then one day, it stops, spins around itself, a silken thread, and cuts itself off, in complete isolation. I have heard that, inside the cocoon, it competely liquefies before it transforms into the butterfly. The struggle of breaking through the cocoon is also an integral part of the transformation, as it strengthens the wings. For us humans, the caterpillar stage could be the 'doing' stage, when the whole focus, the self worth lies in doing and the senses are engrossed in the material world. And then one day, the doing stops and the silken thread of thought is spun out. The disengagement from the material world begins, doing loses its charm and the focus turns inwards. The 'being' stage begins.The transformation happens. There is pain involved. The breaking of the cocoon is the breaking of the conditioned mind of self and others. And one day, the ugly caterpillar is the beauteous butterfly. Nature, in its magnanimity, provides us with these analogies of hope!

Meeting Him

I had heard of this temple on the hillside in Pyramid Valley. And so, early one morning, I announced in the dormitory, that I wanted to go.Would anyone come? And Roma, a fraglie, fifty eight year old, crowned with a mop of curly hair, said yes. So we set off. There was no path on the hill, steep inclines, interspersed with rocky patches. It was intimidating for me, given my arthritic knees. But Roma held out her hand for me to hold and asked me to trust my feet to get me there. Which they did.
There was no temple. Just a pergola and underneath it, a life size statue of Shiva. No priests, no paraphernalia of worship. Just him in the wilderness, sitting in silent contemplation. It was a little startling and then we felt a sense of freedom. We went up to him and touched him. "My hero!" said Roma. I touched his snakes, his rudraksh beads. We stroked his back, shoulders. Rain water had accumulated in his lap. Ants crawled over him. He smiled. We hugged him.
We sat down next to him, held him and meditated. And I felt as though the hill had claimed me. I was one with the earth, with him.
We got up. I went around the pergola, collected some wild flowers and placed them at his feet. And then we came back to the world.

GCSS at Pyramid Valley 2013- Memories

GCSS at Pyramid Valley 2013- memories

The most magical thing in the world is meeting a stranger and finding within the next few minutes/hours an old friendship with deep roots. Somewhat akin to accidentally discovering a treasure. Came back from the GCSS at Pyramid Valley and am on a high. Had lots of interesting experiences which stretched limits of my credulity. But I find the real high for me, comes from connection. These treasures found along the way, these unknown people who suddenly come into my life and to whom I can speak from my heart, without worrying about whether or not I sound cuckoo. They are the real blessings. God is kind.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I almost did not go for the GCSS at Pyramid Valley, this year. One of the deterrants was that none of my friends were going. And how could I go alone with my arthritic knees? Ironically though, these were the friends whom I had met last year at PV or had consolidated my friendship with them there. Eventually, one of them agreed and I went. And I met Anuradha, from Dehradoon, same age as me, blinded at the age of nine. And she was alone. We became friends almost instantly. I asked her, "Anu, you have come here alone?" She replied," Who is alone in this world, Rwitoja? Its actually very difficult to be alone." PV is hilly terrain, uneven, lots of stairs to climb. She asked for help whenever she needed it and help was in abundance for her. Her warmth, her love ensured that she was always surrounded by people. I made many new friends at PV this year. Her words will remain with me. Its really very difficult to be alone in this world.

Deer- Kishore Chaudhary's writing translated

In wilderness of sand, broken leg caught in an iron trap, in the faint of unbearable pain, the deer thrashes with three useless legs. Deer, who is love. Drowned in semiconsciousness, waiting for his lover, the hunter. An inert race between death and dawn.

As distant as his lips and as thirsty, the extinguishing light in the deer's eyes. In these moments of torment, the hunter sleeps unknowing, in shade of darkness, somewhere. The voice of the deer's sinking heart is being pulled into the earth's back. He struggles in the trap, helpless.

On everyone's forehead, there is a little ash, of love gone by.

I am an aghori. Who sits on the terrace and drifting sand fills the dry cup.

Absolutely awesome writing by Kishore Choudhary. I did the best I could in my attempt to translate.. :)

रेत के बीहड़ में लोहे के फंदे में फंसी एक टूटी हुई टांग के साथ असहनीय दर्द की मूर्छा लिए हुये तीन सामर्थ्यहीन टांगों से छटपटाता है हिरण। हिरण, जो कि एक प्रेम है। अर्धचेतना में डूबा अपने महबूब शिकारी की प्रतीक्षा में रत। मृत्यु और भोर के बीच एक निश्चेष्ट होड़।

उसके होठों जितनी दूर और उतनी ही प्यासी, बुझती हुई हिरण के आँखों की रोशनी। इस तड़प के वक़्त बेखबर शिकारी सो रहा है जाने किस अंधेरे की छांव। हिरण के डूबते दिल की आवाज़ समा रही है धरती की पीठ में। वह तड़पता है फंदे में बेबस और लाचार।

सबकी पेशानी पर है प्रेम के अतीत की थोड़ी सी राख़।

मैं एक अघोरी हूँ। जो बैठा हुआ हुआ है छत पर और रेत उड़ उड़ कर गिर रही है सूखे प्याले में।

“Write about what you know, and what do you know better than your own secrets?” 
—Raymond Carver
“There was a time when I thought I loved my first wife more than life itself. But now I hate her guts. I do. How do you explain that? What happened to that love? What happened to it, is what I'd like to know. I wish someone could tell me.”
―Raymond Carver, What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

Happy Ganesh Chaturthi !

He is a Muslim boy, son of labourers, who comes to my home for studying. Some years ago, when he was stiil a tiny fellow, he would be hugely excited by new  school books. He would sit with my husband for hours patiently covering them with brown paper, sticking on the labels.And when he was done, he wanted to leave them at our home.When I asked why, he told me his home was not like mine, it was galeez(dirty)There were too many rats who nibbled on everything, potatoes, tomatoes, clothes.When I asked why do they not use rat traps or rat poison to kill them, he gave me the look. They are Ganesha's friends. Didn't I know that?He would never harm them.Evenings, he loved the ritual of my lighting agarbattis and stood with me hands folded, eyes closed in prayer.He is twelve now and I can see him changing fast as he enters adolescence.Today he phoned and told us that he will not be coming as there is a Ganesh Chaturthi function going on in the Sai temple and he wanted to dance.I just hope that the Almighty, by whatever name we call him, will keep the beauty in this child's heart alive.Happy Ganesh Chaturthi !

thief ?

Yesterday evening, I met a thief. And found her to be a thirteen year old child of migrant workers from Bengal.The mother, a domestic help has been in Bangalore for the last three years. The father, a construction worker, and three daughters have come here just a few weeks ago.This child, the youngest, had been put to work, just after that. On the third day, she picked up a mobile phone belonging to her employers, used whatever money she had for a sim card. Much commotion was made. The phone was returned and she has been branded a thief. The parents are traumatised. She is being thoroughly castigated. On meeting her, I found, that when she was three years old, she had been sent to live with her maternal grandparent's family. They had sent her back just a few months ago. It was them she had called, using the mobile phone.When I met her, she wept. I asked her where does it hurt and she showed her chest. She is afraid to go to school as she knows no language other than Bengali. And employment opportunities are dim as she is now a 'thief'

Legacy of Violence

This couple lived on my floor, both working in IT. Smart, well educated, friendly. I played a bit with their toddler, whenever I met them in the lift or corridor.Whenever his parents came to stay, I was invited for haldi- kumkum. A picture perfect, happy family. They left on transfer a few months ago.Yesterday, a friend who lives in the opposite flat, told me that he used to beat her, openly, in front of others. He once beat her in my friend's flat, held her by the neck and pushed her home. My friend said to me, he was not a bad man, did not drink or anything. This was just his culture as she had seen his father beating up his mother too.
I am saddened and disturbed by the sheer ordinariness of this abuse. I am haunted by their faces. I think of their little boy and wonder how long this chain of violence and humiliation will be.

Doing To Being

The movement from doing to being is the movement from head to heart, from the mind to the spirit. The mind seeks outwards. Tied to the five senses, it continually pulls away, seeking its rewards, satisfaction, fulfillment outside of itself. And in striving again and again to grasp the ephemeral, one is left to deal with the pain of empty hands.One learns , that in reality one possesses nothing but oneself. And then the wandering stops and one learns to be with oneself. Discovers that the treasure lies within, not without.That one has been holding the honey all along , carrying inconceivable richness within. And then the process of being begins.

Rainbow In The Sky !

Yesterday evening, when the rains stopped, they left behind a magnificent rainbow. My husband called me out to the balcony to see it and it was so perfect ! All seven colours clearly seen, arching across the sky. I said, "We have to take a picture." And rushed upstairs to call my son, who hurriedly readied his camera. By the time, he came down with his camera, the rainbow was already on its way out, fading steadily. And I then wondered what is it in us that cannot appreciate beauty in its transience.When we see or experience something exquisite, beautiful, precious, why does this desire rush in to capture, preserve, own it in some way? In doing so, usually, we lose that fleeting moment of beauty and are left empty handed. Or is it that we place more value on memories we create rather than the real experience? The mind plays its tricks and creates pain out of pleasure.

Woman and pain

Hubby has a sore throat and a cold coming on and so was in the kitchen this morning, making  rounds of  tulsi-adrak-pepper chai and khichdi,  when my cook smiled and said to me, "We women are different, no Amma? God has made us different with more himmat(courage) to bear pain and difficulties." She works a 17 hour day, in order to fulfill her dream of giving a quality education to her two children, and deals quite effectively with a headstrong, bullying husband. I wondered then, what really makes us women different? Is it because Nature has made pain such an inevitable part of our lives with menstruation and childbirth? And so we learn to live with it. Our experiences teach us that the worst of pain will pass, that it has a purpose to it, that it will leave a precious gift behind. Or else could it be that the world teaches us from an early age  to think of  pain as a woman's fate, to bear it and not make a fuss?

Sooraj and the killling of woman

Sooraj was made of woman's blood
it was mandatory there will be woman within
though no name was possible for this relationship
he could not escape it
he could feel even though he did not know
there was a woman within
with whom he had to live, grow

how to save a man from woman
the system for making men took up arms
In the very first lesson
he learnt how to kill woman

hey, don't cry, you are a boy
you have hair like a girl's, you sissy
your clothes are girly, ha ha
this pink colour..its for girls, silly

he learnt being woman is a curse
that's why brother says
straighten up or you'll be a woman in your next life

you have to protect your sister even though she's older
you are a man. Don't cry Sooraj. Its you who has to hold fort

the woman within him died for ever
killing woman, going on killing her is but an exercise
he became used to killing woman

he knew then the meaning of 'deserving of punishment'
after killing the woman within, Sooraj knows
whose turn it is next

The translation is mine- Rwitoja

भीतर-बाहर की स्‍त्री by MayaMrig
---------------------------------
स्‍त्री के रक्‍त से बना था सूरज
स्‍त्री का भीतर होना तय था
कि इस संबंध का कोई नाम संभव नहीं था
इस संबंध से बचा नहीं जा सकता, यह जानता भले ना हो
महसूस तो होता था....
भीतर थी कोई स्‍त्री
कि जिसके साथ पलना था, बढ़ना था....

स्‍त्री की संगत में कैसे बचेगा पुरुष...
पुरुष को पुरुष बनाने के लिए की गई
व्‍यवस्‍थाओं ने खींच लिए ....हथियार

कैसे मारा जाता है स्‍त्री को
यह पहले ही पाठ में पढ़ लिया उसने.....

लड़का होकर रोता है....सूरज...
छि...क्या लड़कियों जैसे बाल बना रखे हैं
ये क्या पहन लिया....
एकदम लड़की सा लगता है...
ये गुलाबी रंग.....हा हा .....लड़कियां पहनती हैं....

कि उसे पता था स्‍त्री हो जाना शाप है....
तभी तो भाई कहता है, ल
क्‍खन सुधार ले....अगले जनम में लड़की बनेगा नहीं तो....

तुझे ही तो बहन की रक्षा करनी है....चाहे बड़ी है तुमसे...
मर्द होकर रोता है सूरज........तुझे तो सबसे आगे रहना है....संभालना है सबको....

उसके भीतर की स्त्री मर गई....सदा के लिए
स्‍त्री को मारना...मारते चले जाना और.....मार डालना बस एक अभ्‍यास है....
वह आदी हो गया ....स्त्री को मारने का...

जान गया वह ताड़न की अधिकारी का अर्थ क्‍या है....
भीतर की स्‍त्री को मार डालने के बाद....अब बारी किसकी है....सूरज को ठीक से पता है.....

Love And Fear

There are only two energies at the core of the human experience: love and fear. Love grants freedom, fear takes it away.Love invites full expression, fear punishes it. Love invites you always, to break the bonds of ignorance.

Neale Walsch

Straighten Out Our Own Lives

“Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world.
We cannot cure the world of sorrows,
But we can choose to live in joy.
When we talk about
Settling the world’s problems,
We are barking up the wrong tree.
The world is perfect. It’s a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out
Our own lives.”
- Joseph Campbell TY LucY

When I started loving myself - Charlie Chaplin

When I started loving myself
I understood that I'm always and at any given opportunity
in the right place at the right time.
And I understood that all that happens is right –
from then on I could be calm.
Today I know: It's called TRUST.
When I started to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody
When I tried to force my desires on this person,
even though I knew the time is not right and the person was not ready for it,
and even though this person was me.
Today I know: It's called LETTING GO
When I started loving myself
I could recognize that emotional pain and grief
are just warnings for me to not live against my own truth.
Today I know: It's called AUTHENTICALLY BEING.
When I started loving myself
I stopped longing for another life
and could see that everything around me was a request to grow.
Today I know: It's called MATURITY.
When I started loving myself
I stopped depriving myself of my free time
and stopped sketching further magnificent projects for the future.
Today I only do what's fun and joy for me,
what I love and what makes my heart laugh,
in my own way and in my tempo.
Today I know: it's called HONESTY.
When I started loving myself
I escaped from all that wasn't healthy for me,
from dishes, people, things, situations
and from everything pulling me down and away from myself.
In the beginning I called it the "healthy egoism",
but today I know: it's called SELF-LOVE.
When I started loving myself
I stopped wanting to be always right
thus I've been less wrong.
Today I've recognized: it's called HUMBLENESS.
When I started loving myself
I refused to live further in the past
and worry about my future.
Now I live only at this moment where EVERYTHING takes place,
like this I live every day and I call it CONSCIOUSNESS.
When I started loving myself
I recognized, that my thinking
can make me miserable and sick.
When I requested for my heart forces,
my mind got an important partner.
Today I call this connection HEART WISDOM.
We do not need to fear further discussions,
conflicts and problems with ourselves and others
since even stars sometimes bang on each other
and create new worlds.
Today I know: THIS IS LIFE!
Charlie Chaplin {When I Started Loving Myself} 

Indian Thoughts- Dr Alok Pande

Savitri to Yama: I am greater than you for you are limited by time while I am the unborn eternal. So you have to give what I ask of you.
So when one knows one's truth, death is powerless.
All life is an experience directed towards the blossoming of the seed of truth, inherent in us.
Pain is not the result of an evil deed.Pain is the instrument of an evolving apparatus.
The body is an act of the soul, an instrument of the soul.
Man holds within himself, not a chained beast, but an imprisoned God.
Maya is not evil. She measures out the immeasurable in measurable bits for us to grow.

Heard this yesterday, at a marvelous talk on Indian thought by Dr. Alok Pande

Janamashtami- A Memory

Just after the Bombay riots in 1993, I was traveling in a BEST bus. Sitting behind me were two Muslims, a young man and a middle aged woman. They were talking about the wanton destruction of their homes by Hindu rioters. The woman said that the rioters had twisted the ceiling fans out of shape after looting. And what could they have gained by that? They were contemplating moving out of their present location and shifting to a safer place.Then the young man asked her"Aaj chhutti kyon hai?"(Why is it a holiday today?). And she replied"Aaj Janmashtami hai. Aaj Govinda aaya tha."(Today is Janmashtami. Govinda came today) For me, that somehow symbolizes India. That indescribable something which holds us together despite all the strife and hurt which happens. And on every Janmashtami, I remember that.

On Pasha and Doing Things

We met Pasha yesterday, my friend and I, just outside Karunashraya, on Old Airport Road. He was blind and was selling agarbattis. The pavement there is dangerous as it runs over a drain, is uneven and broken at places. So we bought some of his stuff and tried to steer him to a safer place. He had come in a bus from Chamrajpet, and he got three rupees for each packet he sold. As we walked with him, some shopkeepers and roadside vendors bought his agarbattis. After some time, we left him and watched from a distance, concerned, how he would manage, blind, alone, on a crowded road. And we saw him being helped by people, one after the other. His agarbatti packets were selling briskly as well.
And so we learnt from him that when one embarks on some work, trusting God, trusting destiny, things are taken care of. We learnt from him not to let our perceived shortcomings stop us from taking up new challenges. And we learnt courage and dignity.

1

Tuition

I grew up in a small colony, where tuition was unheard of. Neighborhood uncles and aunties helped us with our difficulties. No monetary transactions involved.I remember evenings,waiting 
at Pandurangaiah uncle's place . He was head of the finance dept. He would come home, hurriedly change and would sit with me teaching accounts.And he was thrilled when I went with a box of sweets and told him my marks. Vaswani uncle helped me with stats. Vishwanathan uncle and Meenakshi aunty taught chemistry when I missed school because of chicken pox.Those were the days and those were the people. Now I realize how fortunate I was to grow up with such role models!

Kali Sadhana

by

Veda Vijnan Rishikulam

Kali mantras serve to develop a Kali Sadhana, in which the true nature of Kali is revealed. In this regard, Kali is death. More specifically, Kali is the death of the ego, which is the rebirth of the soul. Kali is the Divine Mother in her role of slaying the demon or dragon of the ego and giving birth to the Divine Child of Self-awareness. Her mantras bring about an inner death, which is the rebirth of the immortal Self within us.

Through Kali we can experience a simulated death, the real death which is that of the ego, after which there is no more death. Kali is this death of death by the power of eternity.

Kali mantras, therefore, are very good aid to moving into the spiritual heart. They are a good accompaniment to Atma Vichara. They can be used to set the stage for it for those who need additional help or can be added to one’s practice, even if it is affective, to allow another helpful line of approach.

The Goddess Kali, we might say, is the power of meditation personified as a Goddess. Yet She is meditation not as some practice we humans might attempt, She is the natural state of meditation as the power of consciousness pervading Infinite Space and Eternal Time, in which the waves of karma, including birth and death, cannot touch us, because we are the All!

: Kali’s Bija Krim :

Each deity has its mantras, starting with single-syllable seed or bija mantras and extending to longer mantras, prayers and supplications. Kali’s primary single syllable mantra is KRIM (pronounced Kreem). KRIM refers to Kriya or the power of action, but action of a yogic nature.

KRIM is composed of three primary letters. The letter–k is the first of all the consonants in the Sanskrit alphabet. It indicates manifest existence, power and force. The letter–r is the seed of fire and light. The letter-i is focused energy and will power.

KRIM as the sound of Kali sets in motion the primary force of life and manifestation. It is the electrical energy or lightning force that gives power to everything, like the electric current that can run any number of appliances.

Yet when we use this mantra in sadhana or yogic practices, it is the inner current that we are switching on. Once this inner current is available we can use it to empower any sadhana or open up any inner faculty, just like having the electricity on in our house can allow us to do so many things and without it we can do nothing.

The great Goddess Kali, specifically through her mantra KRIM, provides us the support of energy for all that we do in Yoga. More so, she increases our inner energy, both allowing and pushing us on to do more. Her mantra creates a relentless force of spiritual energy within us that does not merely help us but propels and guides us to the higher goal. At some point her current takes over from our minds and directs our sadhana by its flow. This opens up the higher level of working with her power and her presence. Kali’s Kriya Shakti allows the Yoga to work but also as an ascending lightning force can break through all obstacles and veils of karma, prana or mind.

The mantra KRIM also has a fierce side, like a jolt of lightning it can function like a sword to cut things open. It can stimulate, shock, electrify and propel. It can energize the weapons of the Gods to defeat the undivine or Asuric forces. Yet it can energize the ornaments of the Gods, their gems and gifts, which grant bliss to the devotee.

:: Kali’s Threefold Bija: KRIM HUM HRIM ::

Out of this single seed mantra is developed a longer threefold mantra or three seed-mantras as KRIM HUM HRIM. This has yet more energy and efficacy in awakening the Goddess within us. It begins with the mantra KRIM and builds upon its power.

The mantra HUM (hoom) is composed of two primary sounds. The letter-h is the seed syllable of the element of space or ether. It also represents the sun, Prana and the Purusha principle. The letter-u creates a force field that can both serve to hold in and to push out. HUM represents an explosion of energy, an expression of great power that is pranic, electrical and fiery. HUM is the power of Agni or fire particularly as directed by the wind or Vayu. Whereas KRIM awakens the electrical force or Shakti, HUM serves to direct it with great force, to use it to make great efforts.

HRIM (hreem) is the great mantra of the spiritual heart, hridaya. It is composed of three main letters. The letter-h, as in HUM, represents, space, prana and light. The letter-r as in KRIM represents light and fire. The letter-i as in KRIM represents focused energy or a ray of light, the Shakti as such. Through the mantra HRIM alone one can enter into the spiritual heart and the small space within its lotus (dahara akasha) in which the entire universe is held.
These put together, Kali’s threefold mantra serves to awaken and energize the spiritual heart, hridaya.

The mantra KRIM serves to cut the knots of the heart. It works like a sword. It stimulates the heart energy within us, its primal desire or wish for immortality, love and light.

The mantra HUM gives power to the heart, expanding the energy of prana and Agni (fire) in a strong, if not explosive manner.

The mantra HRIM opens the energy of the spiritual heart which is like the Sun, spreading it into the Infinite.

This threefold Kali Heart mantra can be compared to a kind of spiritual adrenaline. KRIM awakens the energy of the heart, like an electrical jolt to a heart patient whose heart is failing. HUM expands it this current with great force. HRIM stabilizes it as an infinite power and eternal presence.

KRIM draws the Prana from the breath, the sensory and motor organs and directs it into the heart. HUM turns the Prana into a force of fiery meditative power. HRIM connects the individual prana-mind with the power of the Supreme Self, the power of the light of consciousness (Chid-jyoti). This threefold mantra therefore creates a powerful Pratyahara in the yogic sense, it takes our energy back to the spiritual heart.

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about an hour ago

What is it like to make a soul contract ?

by Gregg Prescott, M.S.

Are you aware of the many soul contracts you made before you were born? Imagine you are on the other side with Source and you are telling him that you would like to come back to this planet. This is what it might be like:

Source: Why would you like to go back to Earth, my precious one?

You:  The Earth is going to need additional light and energy during the time frame that I have chosen to incarnate, so I would like to volunteer my services to help this planet.  Also, there are a few things I didn’t accomplish the last time I was there.

Source: So far, so good, “Little Me”. What would you like to accomplish there?

You: Well, I made a couple mistakes that hurt a few people in my previous incarnation, so I’ve made prearrangements to meet with these people back on Earth to atone for the things I did.  In one specific instance, we decided that this time around, I would be in the other person’s  shoes, so I could experience how she felt after I hurt her in my last incarnation, while she is going to try to be loving and forgiving of my mistakes.  If we can accomplish this, then all karma will be removed. If we cannot accomplish this in my next incarnation, we will both agree to forgive one another to remove the karmic debt.

Source:  Please continue, my child of light.  What other challenges do you want to experience?

You: I have chosen my parents and specific time, place and date of birth, which will allow me to experience what life is like for someone who is poor.  It will also give me a specific energy signature that will be most conducive for accomplishing all of the goals and challenges I have made during my next incarnation, by providing a life map of specific situations and scenarios which will help trigger the meeting of thousands of other soul contracts that I have made with other people to help me achieve these goals.

I will be born under the sign of Libra in the Northern hemisphere at 10:19 am Earth time. I chose this specific energy signature because it will give me balance and fair judgment. My parents and I have made prearrangements for this to happen in the Earth year of 1983. I will have one brother and one sister, whom I’ve also made prearrangements with.

In my last incarnation, I was a struggling housewife during the Great Depression, so this time around, I would like to come back as a male. As a child, I want to learn how to play sports because as an adult, I will need to know the origins of the divide and conquer principles that are on Earth so I can help to spread the light on how these principles can be used to our advantage by working together as a team while pursuing a common goal. I have made soul contracts with every person that will be on my sports teams, along with every competitor. 

My adolescent experiences and friends will help to guide me towards my life purpose as these have also been prearranged.

I have also agreed to gratefully experience polarity and duality although I may sometimes question why I decided to come back here.  I will make many mistakes during my journey with the realization that I will spiritually grow from every one of them and will view each obstacle as an opportunity for spiritual evolvement.

Through marriage, I will experience heartbreak through divorce and elation through the birth of my 3 children, all of whom have made prearrangements for this to occur before the Earth age of 25 years old.

Every single person that I encounter will help to catalyze my journey as we have all made prearrangements to meet at specific Earth times.   In turn, I will also help other people’s journeys through these connections. Through Free Will, I may not fulfill all of my contracts just as those who have made contracts with me may not fulfill theirs, either.

I have selected the specific awakening codes of 11:11 and 333 to remind me of my purpose here. When I see these numbers, I will know that I am on the right path of my journey, although I may not specifically remember what this journey is to entail.

I will require exactly 37 Earth years, 3 Earth months, 7 Earth days, 3 Earth hours and 37 Earth seconds to accomplish my goals and at that point, I will return back to you after losing to a bout with cancer.  While I will predecease my parents, we have all agreed to the terms of my soul contract, as this is also part of the experiences that are required for their own, personal soul contracts. My children will be safe with their mother as they begin to fulfill their own soul contracts. My oldest daughter will use my death to inspire her to go to school for medicine.  At the moment she turns 37 Earth years, 3 Earth months, 7 Earth days, 3 Earth hours and 37 Earth seconds old, she will discover a cure for cancer and will dedicate the cure to me, while helping millions of people overcome the cure that was deemed incurable. The number 37 will be one of her awakening codes.

Source: Once again, I must remind you that you will not be allowed to remember all of the soul contracts that you have made because it wouldn’t be as challenging or as magical when you meet these people and attain your goals.

You: I know, but I swear, this time I’m gonna remember!  Just you wait and see!

Source: haha

Farley Malorrus gave one of the best analogies I've seen on soul contracts:

If you want to understand this stuff in a more logical sense, imagine going to a college for 10 years, and setting up your course, for all the things you are going to study in that college. Registration is pure hell as you know if you've ever done it. All the best classes and teacher's are grabbed up first, and if you are late or get closed out, you end up with difficult courses, and the teachers aren't as good. These are the unwanted classes, but when we are looking at this example I like to identify the birth chart as a map of the curriculum that you have signed up to participate in this life cycle, as far as Karmic experience, Soul growth and potentials, if any. These things can be discovered by looking at your birth chart. What you are trying to do is plug into the Cosmic knowledge and metaphysical truth, that lies in the intuitive mind, plug into this vast ocean of consciousness (like they say we only have 5 to 10% of our brain capacity. If we had 100% we'd all be much better Astrologers than Farley Malorrus).

When you were on the other side, you made thousands of soul contracts.  Many of these people have only crossed your path several times, but have helped to make you the person you are today.  Each person’s role is as equally important no matter how big or small it may appear.

You wanted to make millions of soul contracts because they all seemed so attainable while you were on the other side but now, you are very grateful that you only made thousands of them!

The above article is an extremely small example of the thousands of soul contracts that you made when you were on the other side with Source.  You went over every minute detail and made specific arrangements will everyone you have met in your life.  You chose the specific year, date, time and specific geographic location of your birth so you would have the precise energy signature of your zodiacal sign to help you achieve your life goals.  You chose your parents, socioeconomic situation, and friends along with all of the challenges that you have endured or will endure in your lifetime.  While this may seem somewhat overwhelming while you are here on Earth, it was a relatively easy accomplishment when you were on the other side as a multidimensional being that could make hundreds of soul contracts all at the same time.

Much of what you have experienced has been agreed upon at some point in your life through your soul contract.  You have allowed Free Will to interact with your soul contract to add a little spice and variety into your life as well.  The most important lessons to learn are being presented to you every day through the relationships you’ve had along with everything you have experienced as they are all leading you to accomplish your purpose here on Earth.

See you on the other side!

Gregg

you are the universe

When you recognize that you are the entire universe what is there to do?
Where can you possibly go?
It's all within you.
Everything is within you, everything.
Why not accept this for yourself?
Your needs will be fulfilled of their own accord.
Everything will unfold the way it's supposed to in your life.
Give it a chance.
It is when you are peaceful that things resolve themselves in the right way for the good of all concerned.
When you are at total peace with yourself.
You are the power, the totality of everything.
Accept this about yourself.

~ Robert Adams

Kuan Yin’s Prayer for the Abuser

Kuan Yin’s Prayer for the Abuser

To those who withhold refuge, 
I cradle you in safety at the core of my Being. 
To those that cause a child to cry out, 
I grant you the freedom to express your own choked agony.
 To those that inflict terror,
I remind you that you shine with the purity of a thousand suns.
To those who would confine, suppress, or deny,
I offer the limitless expanse of the sky.
To those who need to cut, slash, or burn,
I remind you of the invincibility of Spring.
To those who cling and grasp,
I promise more abundance than you could ever hold onto.
 To those who vent their rage on small children,
I return to you your deepest innocence.
To those who must frighten into submission,
I hold you in the bosom of your original mother.
To those who cause agony to others,
I give the gift of free flowing tears.
To those that deny another's right to be,
I remind you that the angels sang in celebration of you on the day of your birth.
To those who see only division and separateness,
I remind you that a part is born only by bisecting a whole.
For those who have forgotten the tender mercy of a mother's embrace,
I send a gentle breeze to caress your brow.
To those who still feel somehow incomplete,
I offer the perfect sanctity of this very moment.

rebirth

I remember a conversation, I once had, with a Jain woman on rebirth. She said that according to her religion, the soul can take another form after centuries or just after death, depending on its karma. The soul can even reincarnate as a maggot feeding on the body it had just discarded. My initial reaction to this was one of revulsion. But then thinking of it, I find in this a wonderful example of transience. Of universality. For the soul, no form is high or low, good or bad. Its all about taking a form and experiencing.

The body I now occupy can become food for someone. Possibly, even for me in another form. This thought hits at the core of the illusion or Maya. And that is why maybe I felt the initial shiver of repulsion. Maya's way of telling me to stay away from such thoughts! Or else I will get too close to the truth.

Hospice cities

Yesterday, a doctor who works in palliative care, said to me that much care is taken while bringing a new life into the world and the same care needs to be shown when someone is leaving the world. I found this touching, as many times, I have heard that working with the dying is not fruitful or rewarding as it is akin to 'watering of dying plants'. I also heard, yesterday, of 'hospice cities' in India. Banaras, Gaya, Puri are some, where people go to die.The spiritual ambience and accompaniment of others who are facing their end, gives peace and solace in last days.I wonder, whether such cities exist anywhere else in the world.

Equal or More ?

I sometimes think, women don't want equality.They don't want everything 'equal equal.' Women  want more.
More love. More pampering. More care.

My friend's wife miscarried in the sixth month of her pregnancy. He is a sensitive guy and his wife's agony terrified him. He later would say that the thought of being a woman frightens him. How can anyone bear so much pain? My sister, after the birth of her first child, told me that the pain is so terrible, that if at that time someone slits your throat, you wouldn't know. Till then, I had thought , periods were painful and made life troublesome. But I learnt, that not only the social system, even nature has no limits to pain.

Leave aside men, even I can only imagine that pain. And so, every man who insults, maltreats, hurts or makes obscene remarks about women, should imagine for a moment , the pain a woman has borne to give birth to him.

It should be made mandatory in our country, that every man should be with his wife during her delivery and bear witness to her agony, her screams.

So that he might think ten times before he does anything to hurt her.Perhaps, he may then understand, why women deserve more, not just equal.

More love. More pampering. More care.

I was touched by this post by Manisha Pandey and so translated it.
Rwitoja

Some Questions

I was at a meeting for caregivers for dementia patients. And it  was almost over when he had spoken up. He looked as though he was in his late sixties or early seventies. His voice had the desperation of a drowning man." I want to live life. I want to go for movies, eat different kinds of food, meet new people. Why do people around me think I don't need to do these things any more? That my life is over and I just have to wait for death? I am alive, am I not?" The meeting ended and people shuffled out.

Love??

When I stand with a begging bowl and beg "love' from someone, what really do I want? Am I not just looking for approval, validation for who I perceive myself to be ? Say I am pretty, I am smart. Say you like me, love me. In another, I seek myself, my identity. And so it hurts, when that person does not reflect what I want to see. In another's eyes, I seek my love worthiness. When I am love, myself.
Rwitoja

People are starving for love, not knowing their heart is a magical kitchen. Open your heart. Open your magical kitchen and refuse to walk around the world begging for love. In your heart is all the love you need. Your heart can create any amount of love, not just for yourself, but for the whole world.
~Don Miguel Ruiz

Boxes

Choose a box. Stick a label. Fit in. I am a woman, Indian, Hindu, married, middle aged, straight, wife, mother, middle class and so on. All these boxes have their own codes of conduct, do's and don'ts. They do give a sense of belonging, identity, security to begin with but then they begin to suffocate. And I find that with time, we need to keep changing these boxes too and they seem to become progressively smaller. Now that I am this age, can I do this, can I wear that ? And when one really thinks of it, how stupid it all is! A prison of my own mind! I am an unique creation of God. There is not one other like me. I am infinite potential, infinite possibilities. And so why can't I listen to my inner being and live as I want to? The key to real freedom lies in understanding this.
I must thank the creators of 'Cock', the play I saw yesterday, for really making me think along these lines! :)

Roses and Thorns

Was speaking to a fifteen year old boy, an orphan. He spoke to me of hurt. Why do people hurt someone by word and actions? What do they get from it? I looked at the pain in his eyes and struggled to find an answer. I said to him that one day he would be  grown up and out into world, on his own. What would happen if he had never experienced hurt before that ? Will he be prepared because there will be people who will hurt him. This is inevitable. The world is like that. We spoke of roses and thorns, how they always come together as a package deal. This is Nature's design. That if I want roses, I have to accept the thorns as well. I asked him if he had any roses in his life and he said yes, he did have some. So, I asked him for the sake of those roses, to accept the thorns. For they are there to teach us of pain, to connect us to our inner reservoirs of strength and resilience. Roses have their nature. Thorns have theirs. So along with the  alluring softness of roses, the sharp piercing of thorns needs to be experienced too. Only then we can truly know ourselves for who we are.

Love And Warmth

A few days ago, I was looking for an address in a narrow lane in Banaswadi. My son was parking the car some distance away. A man stopped by, on a scooter. Shabbily dressed,he looked like a delivery man of sorts.I asked him for the address. He did not know. He fished out his mobile phone and began calling a friend, asking him about the address. The driver of a water tanker stopped by. He talked to the guy on the scooter. They then told us where to go. They were so solicitous, asking us whether we understood the directions or not, waving us goodbye. It was so heart warming, this help from complete strangers. We read so much about brutality and apathy in newspapers. We despair. There is warmth and love in the world. And when it shows up, it feels good to belong to the human race.

Freedom Of Speech???

My cook, a mild mannered person usually, today said to me that the godman should be put in jail and then killed there. She looked visibly upset and said that his statement had brought back for her, painful memories of her mother being murdered when she was a baby.I wondered then about freedom of speech and how far it should go.Should there not be a law about people in public life shooting off their mouths ? Their comments hurt millions of people's sentiments.
I am also thinking of Jyoti's family and how distressing this would be for them. Should not Asaram be held responsible and punished in some way? In a way, I am glad he spoke instead of keeping his views to himself. It brought the stinking rotting, garbage of the patriarchal belief system out into the open. We all felt its nausea inducing, revolting stench. We all felt the need to clean it, throw it out as quickly as we can. So, Asaram Bapu, here we go..

Ten Things Women Must Know-Hindustan Times

Knowing the times that we are in, we give you, yet again, an overview of some important legal rights for women that every one must be aware of. 
  1 Free legal aidExercise your right to free legal aid. Often, women go to the police station unaccompanied by a 

lawyer to get their statement recorded, and they stand the risk of being misquoted or their statement being tampered with. The police may also treat the entire episode lightly and not lodge an FIR. So, it is necessary to have a lawyer with you while you lodge the FIR. “According to a Delhi High Court ruling, whenever a rape is reported, the SHO has to bring this to the notice of the Delhi Legal Services Authority. The legal body then arranges for a lawyer for the victim,” says Saumya Bhaumik, women rights lawyer.

2 Right to privacy while recording statementUnder section 164 of the Criminal Procedure Code, a woman who has been raped can record her statement before the district magistrate when the case is under trial, and no one else needs to be present. Alternatively, she can record the statement with only one police officer and woman constable in a convenient place that is not crowded and does not provide any possibility of the statement being overheard by a fourth person. The cops have to, by law, upkeep the woman's right to privacy. It's important for the person to feel comfortable and not be under any kind of stress while narrating the incident.

3 Time doesn't matterThe police cannot refuse to register an FIR even if a considerable period of time has elapsed since the incident of rape or molestation took place. If the police tells you that they can't lodge your FIR since you didn't report it earlier, do not concede. "Rape is a horrifying incident for any woman, so it's natural for her to go into shock and not want to report it immediately. She may also fear for her safety and the reputation and dignity of her family. For this reason, the Supreme Court has ruled that the police must register an FIR even if there has been a gap between the report and the occurrence of the incident," says Tariq Abeed, advocate, Supreme Court.

4 Email to the rescueAccording to the guidelines issued by the Delhi Police, a woman has the privilege of lodging a complaint via email or registered post. If, for some reason, a woman can't go to the police station, she can send a written complaint through an email or registered post addressed to a senior police officer of the level of Deputy Commissioner or Commissioner of Police. The officer then directs the SHO of the police station, of the area where the incident occurred, to conduct proper verification of the complainant and lodge an FIR. The police can then come over to the residence of the victim to take her statement.

5 Cops can't say noArape victim can register her police complaint from any police station under the Zero FIR ruling by Supreme Court. "Sometimes, the police station under which the incident occurs refuses to register the victim's complaint in order to keep clear of responsibility, and tries sending the victim to another police station. In such cases, she has the right to lodge an FIR at any police station in the city under the Zero FIR ruling. The senior officer will then direct the SHO of the concerned police station to lodge the FIR," says Abeed. This is a Supreme Court ruling that not many women are aware of, so don't let the SHO of a police station send you away saying it "doesn't come under his area".

6 No arrests after sunsetAccording to a Supreme Court ruling, a woman cannot be arrested after sunset and before sunrise. There are many cases of women being harassed by the police at wee hours, but all this can be avoided if you exercise the right of being present in the police station only during daytime. "Even if there is a woman constable accompanying the officers, the police can't arrest a woman at night. In case the woman has committed a serious crime, the police has to get it in writing from the magistrate explaining why the arrest is necessary during the night," says Bhaumik.

7 You can't be called to the police stationWomen cannot be called to the police station for interrogation under Section 160 of the Criminal Procedure Code. This law provides Indian women the right of not being physically present at the police station for interrogation. "The police can interrogate a woman at her residence in the presence of a woman constable and family members or friends," says Abeed. So, the next time you're called to the police station for queries or interrogation when you have faced any kind of harassment, quote this guideline of the Supreme Court to exercise your right and remind the cops about it.

8 Protect your identityUnder no circumstances can the identity of a rape victim be revealed. Neither the police nor media can make known the name of the victim in public. Section 228-A of the Indian Penal Code makes the disclosure of a victim's identity a punishable offense. Printing or publishing the name or any matter which may make known the identity of a woman against whom an offense has been committed is punishable. This is done to prevent social victimisation or ostracism of the victim of a sexual offense. Even while a judgment is in progress at the high court or a lower court, the name of the victim is not indicated, she is only described as 'victim' in the judgment.

9 The doctor can't decideAcase of rape can't be dismissed even if the doctor says rape had not taken place. A victim of rape needs to be medically examined as per Section 164 A of the Criminal Procedure Code, and only the report can act as proof. "A woman has the right to have a copy of the medical report from the doctor. Rape is crime and not a medical condition. It is a legal term and not a diagnosis to be made by the medical officer treating the victim. The only statement that can be made by the medical officer is that there is evidence of recent sexual activity. Whether the rape has occurred or not is a legal conclusion and the doctor can't decide on this," explains Bhaumik.

10 Employers must protectIt is the duty of every employer to create a Sexual Harassment Complaints Committee within the organisation for redressal of such complaints. According to a guideline issued by the Supreme Court, it is mandatory for all firms, public and private, to set up these committees to resolve matters of sexual harassment. It is also necessary that the committee be headed by a woman and comprise 50% women as members. Also, one of the members should be from a women's welfare group