What do I lose when I lose? What do I gain when I win?
For what do I undertake the arduous ascent and the inevitable desolate descent
from the pinnacle?
What do those few fleeting moments on the pinnacle give me?
Why does this voice in my head tell me I MUST win? Where did this voice come from?
Is it the voice of the child I was, telling me, in fear ill concealed, WIN or no one will love you? You do not deserve to be loved otherwise.
For that is what the child was told, over and over, again and again.Not in so many words but yes, the message was conveyed, loud and clear. Your worth lies only in your winning.
But I am this child no more.
I will keep aside the tyranny of victory. I will embrace the freedom of losing.
For today, I know that in losing, I lose nothing, but the fear of losing love.
For what do I undertake the arduous ascent and the inevitable desolate descent
from the pinnacle?
What do those few fleeting moments on the pinnacle give me?
Why does this voice in my head tell me I MUST win? Where did this voice come from?
Is it the voice of the child I was, telling me, in fear ill concealed, WIN or no one will love you? You do not deserve to be loved otherwise.
For that is what the child was told, over and over, again and again.Not in so many words but yes, the message was conveyed, loud and clear. Your worth lies only in your winning.
But I am this child no more.
I will keep aside the tyranny of victory. I will embrace the freedom of losing.
For today, I know that in losing, I lose nothing, but the fear of losing love.
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