I was reading of method acting in which an actor painstakingly creates a character with all its fine nuances. Its a difficult process to create a character and sustain its authenticity, credibility over a period of time. And I think, that is what I have been doing for so many years. Over time, I have created a persona for myself, with her likes, dislikes. opinions, quirks. I have made definitions and descriptions for myself. I work so hard to sustain this persona. I argue so fiercely, get angry, sad, fearful whenever these definitions are threatened or challenged. I am momentarily happy whenever they are endorsed by people around me. This is so much effort. Its time to dismantle her, I feel and see what waits behind.
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