When I woke up this morning, I had no idea, what the day will be like. My friend had volunteered in this hospital and I decided to go along. I had no real purpose in my mind. The paediatric ward was being given a makeover by the volunteers. Colourful murals being painted on the walls, decorations made of strips of leaves being hung up. There were students, nurses, homemakers working there.
The paint attracted me. I painted in my young days and many decades have gone by since. And so I did a part of the mural and got paint splashed on me, which was fun. Also, painting along with other people was a novel experience for me. I tired after some time as being arthritic, I cannot stand for too long. I saw a mother sitting on a bench with her child on a wheelchair. I went and sat next to her.
Its been a year and a half since I have stopped working as a counselor with sick people and their caregivers. I sat with this mother and her child who looked wasted and pale. He had a feeding tube in his trachea and could not speak. I was at a loss of what to say. I then introduced myself as a counselor and said that I was there for her if she wanted someone to speak to. She said she did want to speak.
They were from Rajasthan, she said. And life was hard as they were poor. She and her husband both worked. They had an older son. They worked so hard that they did not even have time to speak to each other. Their house was small, there was no running water.and she had to store water for a week. Life was so hard that they anyway wished to die. The only thing which kept them going was the boys growing up. If only the boys could have a good life, it would all be worthwhile. And then this had happened.
Two months ago, the younger boy, thirteen year old, had complained of leg pain. There was nothing else. No fever, no other symptom. She had not taken it seriously and had put him to bed. The next day, he could not move his arms and legs. Her energetic, mischievous child was paralyzed. He was in the ICU for many days on a ventilator. But now, the doctors said there was nothing more for them to do. He was being discharged. He was slowly regaining some movement. But no one knew how long it would take for him to fully recover.
I heard her story and could say nothing other than how difficult it all was. How difficult for a mother to see her child in this condition. As she told me her story, she had cried and also smiled at times. She then said, how uncertain life was. No one can tell what will happen in the next hour, let alone the next day. Humans have no say, no control at all. There is disease, death. Its all in God's hands. She told me about another patient, a seventeen year old girl and asked me to meet her. She said seeing that girl gives her the courage to face her own situation.
Then she went back to the ward to feed her son. When she came back, her mother and sister-in-law had arrived with her lunch. They brought her lunch everyday. I said, see, when one has trouble, one has support too. Her mother said that when a loved one is in pain, one has to be there. I then said, with some trepidation (as I did not want to sound preachy) that perhaps these very difficult situations come to give us some learning. She readily agreed and said, "Atma to jagrit hai. Sab dekhti hai, seekhti hai."( The soul is always awake. It watches and learns) She went on to speak about some of the things she has learnt, like patience and courage. I asked her whether she would write about what she was learning. She said she would. She told me then that she would never forget, for the rest of her life, that I had talked to her. I was deeply touched by her courage, calmness and depth of spirituality. And her mother's loving support for her.
I went to meet the seventeen year old girl, she had told me about. Her cousin was there taking care of her. This girl had undergone brain surgery, a year ago. She had not regained the use of her limbs. The doctors were going to operate again, soon. Her cousin said that she had lost both her parents, eight years ago. She showed me a photograph of a healthy girl, with two long plaits, taken a year ago. She had been a rank holder in the tenth exams. She could not speak because of the tube in the trachea but could understand what was said and also watched TV.
I saw the love with which the cousin treated her. Hugging her, kissing her, changing her clothes and bedsheets with loving care, she said, this is my baby. I marveled that in both the situations I saw, extreme suffering was accompanied with so much love and support. I spoke to the girl, telling her that I had great respect for her for what she was undergoing and that she was very brave and strong. She nodded her head and intermittently held my hand. I said to the cousin that the unconditional love she felt for the girl was a gift from her and she had taken on tremendous suffering to give this gift to people around her.
After that, I went outside and joined the volunteers in making and putting up leaf decorations.Two women, with a lot of warmth, taught me how to make them. I enjoyed learning this craft.The mural was coming up beautifully in vibrant colours and patterns. I felt the excitement and happiness in the air with the creative pursuits going on. There was consternation as a group of monkeys arrived, foraging for food and pulling down the decorations. Patients on wheelchairs and their caregivers watched.
Life flowing on, inexorably.
The paint attracted me. I painted in my young days and many decades have gone by since. And so I did a part of the mural and got paint splashed on me, which was fun. Also, painting along with other people was a novel experience for me. I tired after some time as being arthritic, I cannot stand for too long. I saw a mother sitting on a bench with her child on a wheelchair. I went and sat next to her.
Its been a year and a half since I have stopped working as a counselor with sick people and their caregivers. I sat with this mother and her child who looked wasted and pale. He had a feeding tube in his trachea and could not speak. I was at a loss of what to say. I then introduced myself as a counselor and said that I was there for her if she wanted someone to speak to. She said she did want to speak.
They were from Rajasthan, she said. And life was hard as they were poor. She and her husband both worked. They had an older son. They worked so hard that they did not even have time to speak to each other. Their house was small, there was no running water.and she had to store water for a week. Life was so hard that they anyway wished to die. The only thing which kept them going was the boys growing up. If only the boys could have a good life, it would all be worthwhile. And then this had happened.
Two months ago, the younger boy, thirteen year old, had complained of leg pain. There was nothing else. No fever, no other symptom. She had not taken it seriously and had put him to bed. The next day, he could not move his arms and legs. Her energetic, mischievous child was paralyzed. He was in the ICU for many days on a ventilator. But now, the doctors said there was nothing more for them to do. He was being discharged. He was slowly regaining some movement. But no one knew how long it would take for him to fully recover.
I heard her story and could say nothing other than how difficult it all was. How difficult for a mother to see her child in this condition. As she told me her story, she had cried and also smiled at times. She then said, how uncertain life was. No one can tell what will happen in the next hour, let alone the next day. Humans have no say, no control at all. There is disease, death. Its all in God's hands. She told me about another patient, a seventeen year old girl and asked me to meet her. She said seeing that girl gives her the courage to face her own situation.
Then she went back to the ward to feed her son. When she came back, her mother and sister-in-law had arrived with her lunch. They brought her lunch everyday. I said, see, when one has trouble, one has support too. Her mother said that when a loved one is in pain, one has to be there. I then said, with some trepidation (as I did not want to sound preachy) that perhaps these very difficult situations come to give us some learning. She readily agreed and said, "Atma to jagrit hai. Sab dekhti hai, seekhti hai."( The soul is always awake. It watches and learns) She went on to speak about some of the things she has learnt, like patience and courage. I asked her whether she would write about what she was learning. She said she would. She told me then that she would never forget, for the rest of her life, that I had talked to her. I was deeply touched by her courage, calmness and depth of spirituality. And her mother's loving support for her.
I went to meet the seventeen year old girl, she had told me about. Her cousin was there taking care of her. This girl had undergone brain surgery, a year ago. She had not regained the use of her limbs. The doctors were going to operate again, soon. Her cousin said that she had lost both her parents, eight years ago. She showed me a photograph of a healthy girl, with two long plaits, taken a year ago. She had been a rank holder in the tenth exams. She could not speak because of the tube in the trachea but could understand what was said and also watched TV.
I saw the love with which the cousin treated her. Hugging her, kissing her, changing her clothes and bedsheets with loving care, she said, this is my baby. I marveled that in both the situations I saw, extreme suffering was accompanied with so much love and support. I spoke to the girl, telling her that I had great respect for her for what she was undergoing and that she was very brave and strong. She nodded her head and intermittently held my hand. I said to the cousin that the unconditional love she felt for the girl was a gift from her and she had taken on tremendous suffering to give this gift to people around her.
After that, I went outside and joined the volunteers in making and putting up leaf decorations.Two women, with a lot of warmth, taught me how to make them. I enjoyed learning this craft.The mural was coming up beautifully in vibrant colours and patterns. I felt the excitement and happiness in the air with the creative pursuits going on. There was consternation as a group of monkeys arrived, foraging for food and pulling down the decorations. Patients on wheelchairs and their caregivers watched.
Life flowing on, inexorably.
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