Equal or More ?

I sometimes think, women don't want equality.They don't want everything 'equal equal.' Women  want more.
More love. More pampering. More care.

My friend's wife miscarried in the sixth month of her pregnancy. He is a sensitive guy and his wife's agony terrified him. He later would say that the thought of being a woman frightens him. How can anyone bear so much pain? My sister, after the birth of her first child, told me that the pain is so terrible, that if at that time someone slits your throat, you wouldn't know. Till then, I had thought , periods were painful and made life troublesome. But I learnt, that not only the social system, even nature has no limits to pain.

Leave aside men, even I can only imagine that pain. And so, every man who insults, maltreats, hurts or makes obscene remarks about women, should imagine for a moment , the pain a woman has borne to give birth to him.

It should be made mandatory in our country, that every man should be with his wife during her delivery and bear witness to her agony, her screams.

So that he might think ten times before he does anything to hurt her.Perhaps, he may then understand, why women deserve more, not just equal.

More love. More pampering. More care.

I was touched by this post by Manisha Pandey and so translated it.
Rwitoja

Some Questions

I was at a meeting for caregivers for dementia patients. And it  was almost over when he had spoken up. He looked as though he was in his late sixties or early seventies. His voice had the desperation of a drowning man." I want to live life. I want to go for movies, eat different kinds of food, meet new people. Why do people around me think I don't need to do these things any more? That my life is over and I just have to wait for death? I am alive, am I not?" The meeting ended and people shuffled out.

Love??

When I stand with a begging bowl and beg "love' from someone, what really do I want? Am I not just looking for approval, validation for who I perceive myself to be ? Say I am pretty, I am smart. Say you like me, love me. In another, I seek myself, my identity. And so it hurts, when that person does not reflect what I want to see. In another's eyes, I seek my love worthiness. When I am love, myself.
Rwitoja

People are starving for love, not knowing their heart is a magical kitchen. Open your heart. Open your magical kitchen and refuse to walk around the world begging for love. In your heart is all the love you need. Your heart can create any amount of love, not just for yourself, but for the whole world.
~Don Miguel Ruiz

Boxes

Choose a box. Stick a label. Fit in. I am a woman, Indian, Hindu, married, middle aged, straight, wife, mother, middle class and so on. All these boxes have their own codes of conduct, do's and don'ts. They do give a sense of belonging, identity, security to begin with but then they begin to suffocate. And I find that with time, we need to keep changing these boxes too and they seem to become progressively smaller. Now that I am this age, can I do this, can I wear that ? And when one really thinks of it, how stupid it all is! A prison of my own mind! I am an unique creation of God. There is not one other like me. I am infinite potential, infinite possibilities. And so why can't I listen to my inner being and live as I want to? The key to real freedom lies in understanding this.
I must thank the creators of 'Cock', the play I saw yesterday, for really making me think along these lines! :)

Roses and Thorns

Was speaking to a fifteen year old boy, an orphan. He spoke to me of hurt. Why do people hurt someone by word and actions? What do they get from it? I looked at the pain in his eyes and struggled to find an answer. I said to him that one day he would be  grown up and out into world, on his own. What would happen if he had never experienced hurt before that ? Will he be prepared because there will be people who will hurt him. This is inevitable. The world is like that. We spoke of roses and thorns, how they always come together as a package deal. This is Nature's design. That if I want roses, I have to accept the thorns as well. I asked him if he had any roses in his life and he said yes, he did have some. So, I asked him for the sake of those roses, to accept the thorns. For they are there to teach us of pain, to connect us to our inner reservoirs of strength and resilience. Roses have their nature. Thorns have theirs. So along with the  alluring softness of roses, the sharp piercing of thorns needs to be experienced too. Only then we can truly know ourselves for who we are.